22. Stories We Tell - Kindra Hall's new book!

About this episode:

• A story I was telling myself that was holding me back
• The life-changing book Choose Your Story Change Your Life  by Kindra Hall
• We are always telling ourselves stories whether we realize it or not.
• Our inner storyteller is as unique as our fingerprint.
• Our self stories are so ingrained in our routines that we are unaware of how they are affecting us.
• The stories we tell ourselves keep us safe - or so we think. They actually keep us stuck.
• Step #1 in Stop the Mind Screw is to analyze your self-talk and it is there for a reason!
• Kindra lays out 4 steps in choosing our stories. Those steps are 1. Catch, 2. Analyze, 3. Choose, 4. Install
• Because the stories we tell ourselves are who we become we really must catch, analyze, choose better stories, and then install them.
• Awareness is the first step to changing everything. Kindra tells an awesome story about the iceberg that took down the Titanic.
• Our stories are usually just below our awareness - sometimes they peek out - Kindra calls these "iceberg moments"
• This is step number one catching those stories in the process.
• Analyze: Once you begin understanding the stories you tell yourself that you can become aware of how to change that story and start telling yourself a story that will serve you. It isn't about lying to yourself, it is about empowering yourself.
• Choose: We have a tendency to only remember the bad stories. It is time to reinforce the powerful stories. Mental diets come in handy here. Want to know more about a mental diet? Download your resource guide here: 🍕 www.kathieowen.com/mentaldiet
• Install: Kindra closes out the book talking about 5 essential areas of our life that we are telling stories and how to change them.
  1. Business and career
  2. Health and wellness
  3. Money and finance
  4. Relationships and love
  5. Family and parenting

Links mentioned in the episode:
Mental Diet Resource Guide Here: www.kathieowen.com/mentaldiet
Kindra Hall's new book Choose Your Story Change Your Life
And here is a link to Stories that Stick.
Find Kindra Hall on Instagram: www.instagram.com/kindrahall
Blog post on this episode: https://www.kathieowen.com/blog/what-story-will-you-tell

Transcript

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You're listening to the Stop the Mind Screw Podcast. I'm your host, Kathie Owen Certified Fitness Trainer, and Mindset Coach since 2002, transforming lives in magic fashion. Teaching Stop the Mind Screw process.

Today, we are talking about storytelling, not just any kind of storytelling, but the stories we tell ourselves.

I joined Toastmasters in January of 2020, because I had been asked to speak at a local chamber of commerce meeting in March on corporate wellness. And also this was a new year's resolution for me. You know, I'd spoken at meetings before I felt like Toastmasters would help me. So I immediately joined after my very first meeting.

And I have to admit, I knew nothing about the Toastmasters process. I was very, very confident and perhaps overly confident. And I felt like I knew what it took to give a speech. I mean, what could it hurt? So I dove head first into the very deep waters of Toastmasters. I had no guidance whatsoever, neither our vice-president education, never once told me about the processes and levels of speaking, much less the forms to fill out before you even speak at a meeting.

My mentor happened to be the president at the time and he left the group and I never heard another word from him. Not over.

My friend Kenzie joined at the same time. I say, she's my friend. Well, I met her in the process of joining cause we joined at the same time and Kenzie was a young gal, but she was also one of the top 10 trainers and the most prestigious personal trainer certifications there is NASM or national association. Um, sports medicine. Yes. One of the top 10 in the world. Wow. Kinsey and I quickly became friends and I admired her speaking talent. She was so good when she so eloquently spoke for her icebreaker, by the way, what the hell was that? Our vice president of education told her she should have joined the country.

What I thought that was for long-term members. I mean, you could tell Kinsey had obviously spoken at Toastmasters and in public before, but I, on the other hand had not, our vice president of education never mentioned a word to me about my first speech that I naively thought was really good. It was on Reality Transurfing by the.way.

But guess what it sucked. I had no idea what an icebreaker was and it was something that you talk about and you talk all about yourself. And honestly, I thought no one wanted to hear about boring old me. Boy was I ever wrong. Your first speech in Toastmasters is called an icebreaker. This means that you break the ice and tell a fun, inspiring speech about yourself.

Kenzie's speech was incredible and it was on learning how to enjoy the journey and the destination. And it started out with this story. About Kobe Bryant, mind you, Kobe was killed in a helicopter crash just days before Kenzie's speech after giving three awful speeches in Toastmaster. Kenzie saw, I obviously lacked mentorship hand direction.

And she told me about this book. It was called Stories That Stick by Kendra Hall. "This book dramatically changed my speeches," Kenzie said, so of course, I immediately ran and put it on my Kindle and it had been my go-to for all of my con. I followed Kendra on Instagram.

And in spring of 2021, she asked her followers in one of those little interactive questions on her stories if they'd like to be a part of her new book and it was going to be about the stories we tell ourselves. Oh, how I wish I had, uh, reached out to Kendra. Something was holding me back and it wasn't until I listened to her new book that I realized exactly what that was. It was the story I was telling myself. In her new life, changing book, Choose Your Story Change Your Life.

She explains that we are always telling ourselves stories, whether we realize it or not. And our inner storyteller is as unique as our fingerprint. Our self stories are so ingrained in our routines, that we are unaware of how they are affecting us.

My friend, the stories we tell ourselves, keep us safe, or so we think they actually keep us stuck, you know, aka mind screw.

And it is there for a reason. And when I read this book, I was like, Oh, my gosh. It's even talking about that in this book, Kendra lays out four steps in choosing our stories. Those steps are number one, catch the story in action. Number two, analyze the story. Is it helping you or hurting you? Number three, chooses story.

As the title entails and number four, install the better story, just like we install software in our computers, because the stories we tell ourselves are who we become. We really must catch, analyze, choose better stories, and then install this. And awareness is the first step in changing everything. Kendra tells a story, an awesome story.

Throughout this book, she tells many stories, but one of the most impactful ones of the whole book is the story about the Titanic and the iceberg that took it. Why because she starts to talk about what's called iceberg moments. You know, an iceberg is gigantic, but we only see the tip of it. And what happens is our stories become like giant icebergs.

And we don't know what is just below our awareness, but sometimes they peak out and Kendra caused these. Iceberg moments. Step number one is catching the stories and the process catch the stories that you're telling yourself. Just start becoming aware, just paying attention to that will help you in the process.

Number two is you analyze these stories. And once you begin to understand the stories you tell yourself, you can become aware of how to change that story and target telling yourself a story that will serve you. And it's not about lying to yourself. It is about empowering yourself. Then step number three is chosen.

We have a tendency to only remember the bad stories. You know, when you watch the news, they don't ever tell us the good stories. Have you ever noticed that? It's because as a human being, we are prone to watch the train wrecks, the crazy stuff that's going on. And the news knows that they know that that's how they keep your attention.

But it is time to start reinforcing powerful stories are success stories that we tell ourselves are good stories. You know, mental diets can come in handy here. And a mental diet is, is simple. Really? All it is is you become aware of your negative thought habits and don't dwell on the negative thoughts.

Don't stuff them don't repress them, just don't dwell on them, let them go. And. I have a resource guide that I've created on a mental diet, and you could download your mental diet resource guide@wwwdotkathyowen.com. Backslash mental diet. This guide will show you how to do a mental diet. What it entails.

And when you start to feel overwhelmed, what to do, and it even gives you a meal plan of store of stuff that you can start incorporating into your mental diet, so it can become a lifestyle. So the last step in Kendra Hall's book is about. Installing these better, more powering stories in your life. Like you install software and eventually it'll start sticking.

It just takes time. And I love how, at the end of her book, she closes out the book talking about five essential areas of our life that we're telling stories and how to change them. She talks about business and career. Number two health and wellness. Number three, money and finance, number four, relationships and love and number five family and parenting through out the entire book.

She weaves in stories from the people that she interviewed for the book. Remember how I said back at the beginning of this episode, how she was. Reaching out to her audience on social media saying, Hey, would you like to be interviewed for stories in the book? And I'm like thinking to myself, absolutely.

Do I ever have stories I could share? And I had already read her book stories that stick, and I actually had interacted with her several times in social media, um, because I had taken notes on that book. I had commented in my stories about the book and she talked about it as well. And so I kind of feel like we're social media friends, and I just admire her.

I admire. Tenacity, her personality, her parenting is wonderful. And you know, she doesn't always talk about the great things that are going on. She talks about everything life in general. I mean, she doesn't, it's empowering. To do that. One thing she did say recently, her book was published in the beginning of January, but she said this after the book was already out there, that what she does on her social media.

And she actually says this in the book too. That's where I heard this is on her post. She posts stories about what's going on in her life at the time, not just to share with her audience. But more importantly, so she can go back and look at what was going on in her life at the time and use those stories to help her.

One of my favorite posts that she did recently was that the book launch, she had an actual book launch in. New York city that almost didn't happen. And she was so cute. She went outside during the party to record a story. And she said, I want to remember this moment. I want to remember how I feel, what was going on and I'm recording this for that reason.

And if I can find it, I will link it in the show notes below, below. So you can go look at that as well. And hopefully, it'll give you some inspiration for your own stories and awesome, please. Go get the book, listen to it, read it and install those new stories in your life. All right. That's my episode for today.

I hope you liked it. Be sure to share it with somebody who can benefit from this. And until next time, I'll see you next time. Peace out and Namaste.