256. Emotional Regulation in the Workplace

Emotional Regulation in the Workplace

Change doesn’t just disrupt systems—it disrupts emotional regulation.

In this episode, Kathie Owen explores why the workplace is often the most emotionally dysregulated environment we operate in, especially during periods of change like mergers, acquisitions, and restructuring.

When fear goes unregulated, it quietly drives behavior—slowing decisions, increasing tension, and eroding trust long before performance metrics reveal a problem.

This episode reframes emotional regulation as a practical leadership skill, not a self-help concept, and explains why containment—not motivation—is what organizations actually need during uncertainty.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why emotional regulation breaks down fastest at work
• How fear subtly reshapes behavior during change
• What emotionally regulated leaders understand
• Why professional athletes offer a powerful model for leadership
• How clarity returns only after emotional containment

📖 Read the full article with bonus resources:
👉 https://www.kathieowen.com/blog/emotional-regulation-workplace

🌐 Learn more about Kathie’s invitation-only consulting work:
👉 https://www.kathieowen.com

If you’re navigating change inside your organization—or leading others through it—this episode offers a grounded, real-world perspective.

Transcript

0:00

Hello and welcome if you're new here. My name is Kathie Owen. I work with leaders and organizations who carry a lot of responsibility, especially during periods of change. My work is invitation only and it starts with observing not advice. Today, I wanna talk about emotional regulation, not as a self-help concept, but as a practical, real world skill. And why the workplace, especially during change, is one of the most emotionally dysregulated environments we operate in. Most people think emotional regulation is something we struggle with in our personal lives, but the workplace, particularly during moments of uncertainty, is where emotional regulation breaks down the fastest. Why? Because people aren't just worried about performance, they're worried about their role, their identity, their income, their future. And when change enters the system, a restructuring, a merger, an acquisition, fear quietly takes over. Not always loudly, often subtly. Let me give you a simple example. I've observed organizations going through acquisitions where nothing official had even been announced yet. And still the emotional shift was immediate. You could feel it. People stopped asking questions in meetings, side conversations increased, productivity looked"fine" on paper, but decision making slowed, tension rose between departments that had previously worked together well. And underneath all of it was the same unspoken question,"Am I gonna lose my job?" Here's the important part. That question isn't irrational. It's human. And when it goes unregulated, it drives behavior. People cling, people, posture, people disengage, people make decisions from fear instead of clarity. One of the most interesting things I see when people begin to emotionally regulate during change is this, they gain choice. Instead of spiraling around, what if I lose my job? What if everything changes? What if this gets worse? They begin asking better questions. Is this environment still aligned for me? Does this acquisition strengthen the company or expose its weaknesses? What do I want next? Sometimes clarity leads to staying. Sometimes clarity leads to leaving, but clarity only shows up after regulation. This is why I study professional athletes. Professional football season is in the middle of playoffs right now, and the playoff games were actually a perfect example. The game was tight. The outcome could have gone either way down to the final minute, and when the game ended, the camera did what it always does. It went straight to the losing quarterback. National television, season over, months of preparation finished in one moment. And what I watched closely wasn't the score. It was his face. You could see the disappointment, you could see the weight of it, and you could also see composure. He didn't unravel, he didn't leash out, he didn't collapse in the moment where millions of people were watching. That's emotional regulation. Not the absence of emotion, but containment of it. Professional athletes understand something most workplaces avoid acknowledging. Your season can end at any time. An injury, a loss, a trade, an off year, and the fact you even make it to the playoffs is in itself an accomplishment. Because not every team is going to win. And that's not pessimism. That's reality. And reality is something emotionally regulated people can face. Now, does that mean you don't feel it? Of course not. You might cry, you might grieve. You might need space to process. That is still emotional regulation. What matters is where and how emotions are expressed. You don't break down in the huddle, you don't lose containment in the middle of the play. You handle the moment, and then you process it appropriately. The workplace is no different. Change happens, mergers happen, acquisitions happen, roles shift, careers end, new ones begin. When leaders can regulate emotionally, they think more clearly. They make better decisions. They see options instead of threats, and when they can't, emotion runs the system. This is why I study professional athletes. They feel everything. They just don't let it run the system. That is excellence. In mergers and acquisitions, emotional regulation is not a soft skill. It is a risk factor. When leaders can't regulate communication deteriorates, rumors replace facts, trust errodes, talent quietly exits. Integration fails long before numbers reflect it. When leaders can regulate clarity improves, decisions stabilize, teams adapt faster, people make aligned choices instead of reactive ones. This is often where I come in, not to calm people down, but to observe where pressure is leaking and help contain it. Emotional regulation is not about being calm all the time. It's about noticing when fear is driving behavior. It's about pausing long enough to regain perspective. It's about making decisions from clarity instead of urgency. When regulation improves, leaders can see more clearly. They can see whether an acquisition is healthy. They can see whether a culture will survive integration, and they can see whether staying is aligned or leaving is the right move. The workplace doesn't need more motivational language during change. It needs containment. It needs clarity. It needs leaders who can hold pressure without leaking it into the system. I've written a deeper case study on emotional regulation in the workplace, particularly during mergers and acquisitions, and you'll find that blog post linked in the show notes and description below. And if you're operating inside an organization where change is creating uncertainty, my consulting work is invitation only and begins with an observation, not advice. All right, that's my episode for today. I trust that you found it helpful. And if you know someone who could benefit from this, please share it with them. And thank you for being here. Until next time, I will see you next time.